Love

Word that forms the basis of all religions, a word that has evolved ordinary people into poets, that has set the film industry thriving, and a concept that has confounded the younger generation of all times!

How does such a small single syllabled word encompass a sphere embracing joy, sorrow, pang and perplexity? That’s the power of softness I suppose! Life begins from love and ends with it. The reason of our birth is love, we are being loved right from the day we were conceived through the day of birth, our entire life, we make many realize what we mean to them upon our death and on days that follow. At each point it shows up in different ways, it is attributed differently and its outcomes are different too.

Some people show their love in the form of care and compassion, some with their kindness, some people’s love are seasoned with strictness, and for a few others their childlike expression of love appear on the lines of possessiveness. There’s nothing more amazing than the fact that even anger and hatred are signs of love!

When a mother chastens her kid, when a father lays down a rule, when a sister advises, a brother irritates, a friend pulls your leg, your girlfriend/boyfriend cares for you or your spouse who is your life’s soul expects your companion all the time, it’s nothing but just pure love. If we get a day to live upon every sunrise, it’s God’s love in disguise.

Some understand the concept clearly while some vacillate from one side to another in bewilderment in the process of comprehending its meaning. A few of the younger generation especially, are a confused bunch, that mostly mistake attraction and the normal opposite gender friendly interaction for love. The depth of the intangible word can only be felt, neither explained nor seen. If it’s a feeling that arises because of one’s attraction toward another’s looks, captivating behavior or charisma, it’s mere delusion. It will last only as long as the source of it lasts! And we are all quite sure how transient beauty, looks and charisma are. It is at this point we ought to make a self call to our senses, tap the mind and ask the question, ‘Are we in a state of intoxicated delusion or are we really in love?!” The maturity to question oneself, if not at least answer the question, comes to different people at different ages. For some, it’s even the kindergarten love that turns out into marriage. For some others, it’s after getting a clear understanding coming past the paths of crushes, for a few it’s born, borne and buried in their own hearts, and for the rest, it’s the first and forever love at a mature 20+ age, that is taken through a successful event of wedding and that stands strong through the tests of time.

Maybe looks are sometimes an entry point for a relationship to begin, but they neither lay foundation to it nor do they nurture the same. If physical appearance at any point is claimed to be the centre around which a relationship revolves, it will flicker and die out the moment the ephemeral gravity of looks is lost! ‘Chemistry’, yeah students use it more often these days, not sure of the reason though! It may happen to be a cause to begin and take a relationship forward, it’s something that’s natural and common at teenage, but how long will it continue if it doesn’t mature into platonic love at the right time? Upto the age of  30, 40? One should realize that only a love/relationship that arises and continues out of the liking for a person’s nature, is true. If other fleeting factors like looks, attraction and status  are mistaken to be the cause for love, they will eventually fade too, because there’s no such thing as love in it. When we humans who are creations of a perfect being called God, are imperfect, can we design someone customizing to our own likings? When we ourselves are imperfect will our creations or the changes we try to bring into someone make them perfect, or will it have any meaning? If we keep finding faults and ask them to change for some reasons it is going to have no end. And if we are in search of that Mr/ Ms Perfect, the search will not end too! So whether it’s a person you find or your parents do, it’s about accepting the person as he/she is and living a life appreciating the positives, and understanding and adjusting with the qualities that you find difficult to accept. That will make life sweeter and our hearts kinder.  Will it be justice if people walk away citing reasons of lost youth? That’s the most inhuman act one could ever do. That’s not the culture based on which we humans are raised too. When a couple are 60+ of age and they still share the same bond they used to 30 to 40 yrs back, with care and concern for each other, that is what is a life lived completely, a life lived with love.

True love forgives. The best examples of all time will be God and mother. True love is unconditional, it’s unadulterated. Love understands, cares, sacrifices and gives precedence to other over self, it shuts the external eye and views only through the inner one. Loyalty and mutual trust are the most important of all factors for a relationship to continue lifelong, and who knows even beyond this material life.

The unconditional nature of love is what makes love, love. Anything else is but business, expecting a profit in return to what is being given. Its supremacy too is evident in God’s love, and in mothers’. Other members of family too shower it in their own way. The most innocent love can be felt in grandparents’. They become a child once again and we become their parents. When we were born, they waited for their designation to change :) they dreamt of the first time we would ever call them ‘Grandma’, ‘Grandpa’ (in one’s own language). When they were called they felt like heaven. The same was the case with our parents too. And as elder siblings we would have seen our younger ones at our own young age with innocent curiosity and love. They too reciprocate it and their love grows mature with the passing years. A small family can have so much bonding within itself, and beautiful nests of care and guardianship for each other can be began to be built from a young age. Can we forget a pet’s love here? Without a sixth sense, with only feelings and with a pure heart, it’s one of the best creations of God, and the best source to learn from. When seeds are sown and showered with the right amount of dearness, it would leave no individual stone hearted. That’s the beauty of unconditional love, no expectations, no hassles, the best way to live life. It’s these points we need to make sure of, to answer the question above. If the love for the person you have is something as pristine and care-oriented as the love you have for your family members or pets, you can conclude to some extent that you love the person truly. And it’s here that you eradicate reasons of tangibility like looks, colour, money and attraction. So there’s so much that can actually be learnt from your family. You can decide for yourself if you are in doubt, and at the same time develop into a complete human personality with a heart full of love and benignity.

When it starts from a family it doesn’t necessarily end there. It’s extended to relations beyond blood: the immediate and further circle of relations, friends, and even third persons. A kind heart shows compassion to the tiniest living creature as it would to fellow humans. It’s about how we grasp, grow and cultivate. Even a stoic can be made to melt and taught to melt others.

It’s love that forms the basis of the universe, a notion that has no barriers of language, a feeling that makes a human, humane. It’s inside us, already sown and present. The search is dealt with removing the hazy dust of expectations, digging out the mud of vengeance, and plucking off the weeds of chemistry. When these are done, true love, which is platonic, can be seen treasured deep inside :)

Buts for the better

Trust, but don’t be gullible

Love, but don’t try to impress

Miss someone, but don’t let that gap turn into a rift

Respect, but don’t be servile,

Indulge in innocence, but distinguish it from ignorance.

Yearn for something, but don’t be jealous of it.

Cry your pain out, but don’t seek refuge in tears.

Sympathize with yourself, but don’t grow weaker.

Be compassionate towards others, but don’t expect an iota of reciprocation from them.

Explain, but don’t try to convince

Apologize cravingly, but don’t get knocked over if not pardoned

Forgive wholeheartedly, but forget not the lessons it taught you.

Confide, but before that choose the right ‘to whom’

Repent, regret, reprove and reproach yourself for something, but make sure you don’t repeat the cause of it.

Say no if you can’t, but be polite

Verbalize, but make sure you are heard

Discuss, but don’t argue

Concentrate on knowing what’s right, but on not who is.

State what you want to, but remember, being kind is always more important than being frank.

Do your best, but don’t expect.

Talk to yourself, but make sure you are honest

Be honest to others, but not too revealing.

Embark upon your passion, but let the risk be a calculated one.

Prioritize, but attend to all.

Give up, but only when the relationship is more valuable than your stand.

Give in, but only if you are completely convinced with the claim.

Share your sorrows, but only with the one who cares.

Understand and realize, but don’t grumble.

Ruminate, but don’t drown yourself into sulkiness.

Pay attention to yourself, but don’t love yourself more than you love the others.

Travel long and far, but don’t forget the beginning that brought you to where you are now

Let the past be your guesthouse, but not your eternal place of stay

Believe in miracles, but don’t be indolent.

Be humble when you get, but humbler when you give!

Celebrate your victory, but don’t rest on your laurels,

Be strong, but always remember there’s someone stronger!

Have sophistication in thoughts, but lead a life of simplicity.

Be yourself, but don’t be too repellant to changes if they are for the better.

Listen to your heart, but decide with your brain.

‘If’s and ‘But’s may be words of fools. But, who knows! Some ‘but’s may always be for the better and when followed we may escape from proving their claim right!